“What made my dreams so easy to dismiss? Granted my dreams are shy, because they’re Canadian. My dreams are self-conscious and overly apologetic—they’re standing alone at the high school dance and they’ve never been kissed.”
Day: April 1, 2013
That time of the year
Yesterday marked the beginning of a three-week period that I have been quietly dreading for some time now. Easter weekend, one year ago, was the last weekend we spent with Justin.
That Saturday we went to a dinosaur park in the Jura and then took the kids for lunch at Burger King, or as Ben likes to call it, the King of Burgers. It was a lovely day.
Sunday was Easter and we went to the Parc des Bastions with some close family friends. The moms hid Easter treats while the dads distracted the kids, and then after the kids had run around finding their surprises, we sat on the grass and drank Clairette de Die. It was a lovely day.
That Monday morning Justin woke up early and got ready to go to the airport. I told him that if he really wanted me to, I could wake up the kids and we would drive him to the airport. He laughingly told me to stay in bed, so I did. I kissed him goodbye and he left. That was the last time I saw him.
Nineteen days later Betty-Lynn came to my office and told me “Justin passed away last night.” Right at that moment my life fractured into a before and and after, with the time Justin was in Tanzania existing as a kind of interstitial period between the two. That final weekend we spent together as a family, in that city I love so well, remains as my last shiny memory of that glorious before.
I have made it through the first “anniversary” of that weekend. In nineteen days I will make it through the first “anniversary” of his death.
I have survived this. For now, that is enough.
The Wire, again
I just recently started rewatching The Wire and I remembered how good it is and how much I love it.
Series opening scene:
Justin watched it first and kept telling me to watch it, but I could never get past the first episode. It was too complicated and didn’t lend itself to my usual TV-watching style: one eye one the TV, one eye on the computer, attention usually somewhere else entirely. The Wire demands your full attention and rewards your concentration with visual story-telling at its finest: outstanding writing delivered by brilliant actors. Needless to say, I eventually made it through that first episode and then roared through the whole series, berating Justin all the while for not having told me about this great show sooner.
In case someone out there still hasn’t seen it (what are you waiting for!?), the show’s creator, David Simon, said the show is “really about the American city, and about how we live together. It’s about how institutions have an effect on individuals. Whether one is a cop, a longshoreman, a drug dealer, a politician, a judge or a lawyer, all are ultimately compromised and must contend with whatever institution they are committed to.”
Over the course of five seasons, all set in Baltimore, the show examines various institutions and the people within them. Season 1 looks at the illegal drug trade, focusing on the police department and the drug dealers. Season changes locations and shows the “death of work and the betrayal of the American working class” as depicted by the stevedores at the Baltimore port. Season 3 looks at the city government and bureaucracy and the nature of reform. Season 4 focusses on education and Season 5 on media and media consumption.
All five seasons are full of great writing and amazing stories, with lines that stay with you long after you’ve finished watching. I’ll leave you with a few of my favorites.
- The game is rigged, but you cannot lose if you do not play.
- We used to make shit in this country, build shit. Now we just put our hand in the next guy’s pocket.
- No offense, son, but that’some weak-ass thinking. You’re equivocating like a motherfucker.
- Look, man, I’ll do what I can do to help you all. But the game is out there. It’s either play or get played.
- Ain’t no shame in holding on to grief, as long as you make room for other things too.
- Thin line between heaven and here.
- All in the game yo, all in the game.
- It’s Baltimore, gentlemen. The gods will not save you.